Today ended a 6 week struggle in have been going through with SEFCU credit union.

I went through their ATM around 7 pm one night in August to get $500 to pay the workers the next day. For whatever reason the machine did not give me any money, I tried again and it said in had already taken out the limit so in just left and went back the next day and took the money out from the person and reported the machine, as we don’t have to let anyone take our money being machines or people like bryan demosthenous.

They put the money back in my account, then three days later took the money back out and put my account in the red for 300 bucks. Spoke to the manager and he said the machine said it had given me money. Ah no, it didn’t. So they agreed to research it more. Two days later the manager calls and says that they have researched all the documentation and it had definitely given me money and was mistaken. I knew it wasn’t. So I said, “look at the video.” If the video shows me taking money then in will pay but in knew they wouldn’t it.

Again the manager calls me, “no we can’t use the video, it is just facial recognition, and it would not show anything.” I am like “yes it will, it will show you a woman going where the heck is my money.” It will show you me getting out of the car and hitting buttons on the machine, and then trying again and still not getting anything out. So, in said I need to see the video otherwise my next step it so get a court order to have the video released. The manager called me back again 2 days later, “no, we can’t see the video and we can’t show you it because of the sensitive information on it, but we can show you all this documentation from the whole system for that day. If you had not gotten any money it would have thrown other things off and it didn’t. I am saying “no.” All of you information is still starting with the machine that malfunctioned: no. Show me the video of me taking the money and I will pay you, otherwise put my money back in my account.

Admittedly, by now, I was starting to wonder if I had imagined it. After all, I had been exhausted. If my actions after hadn’t confirmed for me that I hadn’t got any money I might caved.

So today I went to the corporate office of SEFCU. The receptionist told me “this is by appointment only, you can’t’ just walk in.” I told her this was my last effect to not take legal action, so she put me in a board room with the extensions of the CEO and her assistants where in could leave messages. By my last message I was in tears. I guess the receptionist felt for me and told me to come back in 30 minutes when they came back from lunch and someone would probably come down and talk to me. So, I went back, and a nice guy called Sean who was the assistant to the CEO came down and talked to me. He was shocked that he had heard nothing about my situation and promised to check out the video and all the documentation.

Tonight, Sean called me and let me know that my account and been restored and my money returned. No actual apology, but I won. So the message here is: machines make mistakes. Too many of this business folk believe that the machines are the final say but they are not.

Believe in your humanity and if you know to the best of your ability, that you are right, fight for what you believe until they give you an answer that you are sure is the right solution. BELIEVE IN YOUR HUMANITY.

This blog is a direct copy from my book  ” YOU ARE WISER THAN YOU THINK”.    This information will set the stage for becoming more informed on how to integrate your three selves successfully and easily in the following blogs.

For easy translation:  Spirit is also called the Higher Self,  Emotions are also known as the Smaller self and Intellect is also known as the Middle Self.

Higher Self or Spirit

The higher self is not motivated by our needs but by what is good for us as a whole being. The higher self knows the direction our life needs to take in order for us to accomplish what it is we came here to do.  The higher self is not clouded by emotions, and therefore, not mislead by the illusions that can confuse us and take us off our path. It is a powerful teacher and the most direct way to deliver information that will truly make guidance effective.

It can take information and gradually release it into the person’s awareness until they can understand it.

Higher selves will work together as a team. This means if you consciously work from your higher self then your higher self will, in turn, work in harmony with the higher self of others thus achieving the best result for all concerned.

The Higher self often doesn’t relate to the material world, and though the ‘let go and let God’ is a wonderful process, it is necessary to have a balance of the three selves to live within that belief.

Middle Self  or Intellect

The middle self is the bridge between the higher self and the smaller self or emotional self. It is our voice of reason. The middle self gets more involved in the processing of information and helps to keep us centered so we are able to reason.

The middle self is great for appealing to when you want to move someone out of emotion and into reason.

If you are too much in your middle self, you will find that you may lack imagination, flexibility and spontaneity. You will also be over critical of yourself and others. The middle self needs the influence of the higher and the smaller self in order to keep itself balanced.

Smaller Self or Emotional Self

This is a wonderful part of our make up and can be our strongest ally, worst enemy or most damaged and frightened child. Our emotions are extremely powerful when it comes to the way in which we communicate.

The smaller self is a great team player once it trusts you.  If you can get someone (this includes yourself) emotionally involved in something you have a great start on the situation. Once you win the smaller self’s trust and willingness to co-operate, you are then ready to move forward to gaining the trust and co-operation of the middle and higher selves.

If your smaller self is running your life, you will be on an emotional roller coaster and constantly dealing with drama.  The smaller self needs the wisdom of intellect and protection of spirit to be able to make sound decisions that can be put into action in your life.

Who is running your life?

Do you have trouble being around people who are different from you?  If you are low key, do high-energy people wear you out?  Do you find that you do the same thing and go the same places because it’s easier? Do you have the same excuses for everything; cost too much, takes too much time, I’ll do it later when I have such and such in place.  This is how our life looks when we have allowed one of our selves to dominate our choices instead of all three of your selves influencing your decisions.

See if this seems familiar:

Your middle self is running the show if you spend much of your time trying to stay realistic in dealing with life. Paying those bills, being very responsible and having no time for fun until that is taken care of.  And then when that is taken care of, there will be something else that has to be done first.  Play never happens.

If your smaller self is in control you may forget to pay the bills because you have been out shopping. Or, you may find yourself so caught up in the drama of life that you are too emotionally stimulated that you can’t seem to come up with a plan to solve the problem. You find yourself spinning your wheels or on an emotional roller coaster.

Or last but not least, your higher self.   Not being grounded: as in; what bills, oh, I need to pay those?

You will find your life will become a lot more fun and productive once you start to work with each aspect of your self. There will be times when it will benefit you to let one self be more dominant, but the important thing is that it is a conscious choice.

Here are some situations which all of us have been in where we allow one self to “run the show” to get the job done. Even though the other selves are still present, we consciously let one self dominate.

 1        It’s time to do your taxes so you consciously move into your middle self, the intellect, and get it done.

2        It’s time to play with your kids, so you allow yourself to lighten up and go out and play.

3        You need to “be big” about something and let someone have their way even though you might not agree. You know they need to win this time so you put your ego on hold and step into your higher self and allow.

Being able to let one self “lead” is a good sign that your three selves are clear on what their task is and as a result, you are able to focus and get the job done effectively and easily with your three selves working as a team.

When each of the selves wants to be in charge at the same time there arises an internal struggle. In this situation our life can become a casualty of the struggle and we lose control over the out come of the situation.

Some scenarios could be:

Small self in charge –

You sit down to do your taxes but have to have the television on knowing full well that you are setting yourself up to get distracted so a one hour job, takes three.  And the real kicker is you know that is what will happen and do it anyway.

 Middle self in charge –

Perhaps, with good intent, when you play with your children you have an overwhelming desire to point out faults instead of letting it go and enjoy the playtime.

 When the spiritual self is not present –

Or, no matter how much you would like to let that person have his/her way you just have to have the last word as they walk out the door even though you know, doing so, will gain nothing positive.

So, what’s going on?  Basically, your three selves are all fighting to run the show and there is no communication between the selves or with your conscious mind so there is no exchange of information occurring. Everyone is fighting over the same bone, and all are only coming away with a piece. As a result, you are having a constant struggle to get anything completed.

 Your middle self doesn’t trust your child to have fun because your child is not responsible.

Your child doesn’t like your middle self because it doesn’t know how to lighten up and keeps messing things up by trying to force everything.

Your higher self isn’t heard by either of the others because they are always fighting over who is right, and therefore your spiritual life is getting almost no attention and you feel like you have no purpose.

And you wonder why you can’t make a decision about what you want to do in your life!

In the next couple of blogs we are going to put some of this into action,  get all of the aspects talking and bring about internal peace and external success in your life.

How often have we seen someone doing something that is obviously harming them and think that they need to change but we just dismiss it as if “we know” that they never will be able to.  They have been that way for so long they will never change.

Really?  Are you sure they are the only problem in this equasion? What about your inability to invest any energy in the possibility for them to change?

Change is not easy, for any of us and in order to change we need to set the stage so we can be successful and one of the first things we need to do is to get away from all those that “love us” because often that very love is a big part of the problem because whether they know it or not, it is conditional..  They love ‘us” in the way that they know us and are often not able to love us if we are different.

This was something I had always known and it became even more amplified for me when I adopted a special needs dog.  She was born with a brain condition that left her deaf and very sensitive and compulsive which was playing out in negative ways.

When I took her on she was extremely fear aggressive, chronic spinning and barking and was believed she could never be out of a crate for any period of time.

Six months later: she no longer lives in a crate,  no longer spins insanely in one spot as she used to,  only barks when she is playing and her fear aggression is down from a 12 out of 10 to a 3.  Does she still have the ability to digress?  Absolutely,  I have seen her do it,  but I also noticed that when she did it she was either stressed because she was integrating a new situation of someone was handling her who knew her from before and were still fearful of her,  or perhaps, for her.  Either way, their fear and in-ability to let her be who she is now, even though they have seen the change in her, triggered her insecurities, which she will probably always have, or she regressed to being aggressive.

So, when I look at this whole situation and I consider with what we go through as people, I realize how often in life we ask people to change and then by our own unwillingness to believe in them and the fact they can, we don’t allow them to.

As if they don’t have enough obstacles to overcome in their own process they also have to drag along with them all the “doubters” and “nay sayers” who throw their former failures in their face, reminding them, “this is who you are to me,” and though you may be changing, I am not willing to let you change by believing in you.

“I own you” and who you were so you can’t change and reclaim your life. You owe me and what I went through with you when you were” like that.” You hurt me and you owe me! Or, you inconvenienced me and you owe me!  Why should you get to change and be free of that when I still live with it.

No, I won’t believe that you can change because that will let you off the hook for all of the things you have done and you need to pay for them, at some level, so you need to stay the way you were.

I have been there for you all the times you needed me and you owe me. You don’t get to change and leave me behind!

Is this what we are going through at an unconscious level?

I know there is the belief that people don’t let me people changes because it means we have to change too, and I definitely agree with that.

But what I witnessed with this little dog has a touch of “my will’ against yours.  Who you want to be versus who I say you can be.

So, I guess the point to this is when you casually ask someone to change; quit smoking, lose weight, go to school become more, you need to remember you have a part in that.

 Especially, if you are a family member or a loved one.

If they change there is no way that you or your life is going to stay the same.

And if you insist that they do stay the same you are either denying the other person their chance to change or you are creating scenario where they will have to be free of you so they can change.

So when you ask them to change also ask yourself:

ARE YOU READY TO CHANGE?

People cannot change inside a goldfish bowl. Their change will send out a ripple effect and if you are close to them you will be affected by it. And for the most part, it will mainly require you being willing to see them in a new light.  Let go of the person you knew.  But sometimes that is not so easy to do.